Testing...

Last week, testing was largely on my school/teaching plate. I created my first test- reviewed for it with students, then gave the test. Then over the weekend- I spent tons of time grading these tests.

I think the whole experience was just as stressful for me as it was for the students. For not only was I testing them and what they had learned, but it was also testing my ability to teach. And more than anything, I wanted them to not only “pass” the exam, but to EXCEED what they thought they could do.

On the testing days, I could tell they were anxious. As they looked through the exam, I could almost see the beads of perspiration break out on their foreheads. Which caused mine to do the same. :-)

As I graded tests this weekend, scores were high. I was pleased. Those who scored low, I could tell had given it their best. And that helped me see in greater detail, who needed attention and what the greatest areas of struggle were.

As I passed out test results this week, we have also been brainstorming about tests and why they're important and how we can be better prepared. Here are some notes from one class:

Why Are Tests Stressful?

-not prepared

-didn't study

-lack self confidence

-the thoughts of what happens if you fail (family disappointment, future results)

-if you don't understand what is expected or the language the test is given in

How Can You do Well On A Test?

-study

-be prepared

-have confidence

-use the test time effectively

-read all of the directions

Why Are Tests Good?
-helps you see where you're at

-shows your areas of strengths and weaknesses

-can help you set goals

Interesting and very much able to apply these things to life overall.

And all of this came full circle for me in church over the weekend, when the pastor started a new sermon series on the book of James. He began by talking about “TRIALS and TESTS.” Hmmmm. :-)

Here is what the book of James says:

“Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance.”

Wow. So testing is good then. The pastor said: trials or tests are allowed by God to test the genuineness of our faith. And we can find joy in them when they come because God can use the pressure to strengthen us.

Easier said than done right. Tests can cause stress. It's pressure to perform. And when you're under pressure- what you really feel, what you really know, who you really are, even the depth of these things are exposed. And that isn't always pleasant.

But often, that's exactly what is needed so areas of weakness or illness can be addressed and you can actually GROW, MATURE, and BECOME STRONGER.

I'm reading a great book called “Not a Fan” by Kyle Idleman. I had the privilege of also sitting through this sermon series when I was in Louisville, KY at Southeast Christian Church. Kyle said in one chapter that often we mask who we really are. We act like a follower of Jesus, when actually we're just a fan. When the pressure's on, it can be proven that our faith and our commitment to follow isn't really there. Ouch.

Another great book I read recently called “Beautiful Outlaw” by John Eldridge talks about the personality of Jesus. And how Jesus was the same in speaking and being the truth and message He was, even when under extreme pressure. That is what has turned off many people to today's “churches”- leadership and those who are "Christians"- speaking one thing and living something else. Times of testing can reveal these inconsistencies. And that can be very good.

Thinking back on my own life- God has allowed SEVERAL times when I felt like I was being tested. I felt like I was in a pressure cooker and what came out of me during those times caused me to realize in a big way my extreme need for grace. Time spent in Haiti- was one of the biggest pressure cookers for me. Because what had happened over years in the American culture and American church, is I had become more a product of my culture than my faith and relationship with God. My biblical answers were right, my words good, but under pressure what was revealed was a selfish, prideful, comfort-based American that liked things her way. WOW. I had no idea until that "test".

I'm so glad God allowed that test and allowed me to see my failing grade. But the great thing about it- was I didn't fail life overall because of that ONE test. He allowed more times of testing so I could see with Him, I could excel. I could be and do more than I ever thought possible, because of Him with me.

Haiti

I also think of youth ministry. That was a five year pressure cooker for me. I could not do that “exam”- that time of testing and obedience- without God with me. But He helped me, to be what He needed me to be. And to do it for WAY LONGER than I ever thought possible.

Youth ministry in Ohio...

I think of now, this “call” I'm in to use my life for Africa in some way. God called that for my life in 2008. It was a surprise for me. I'd been many places but never to this continent. Why Africa? Why me? Why now? How would that even happen? Well, He's provided the means. I've been in the USA advocating for Africa and now on this side, trying to be obedient. To learn how to be here, do this, with His help. Though at times it's not easy and I feel like I may fail, I'm here.  And some of the greatest friendships and moments of all time have happened and are happening on this continent and having the privilege to live them and write about them, speak about them, has been the adventure of a lifetime.

God has reminded me too this past week that the way God's tests are “graded” is not our way. We would say the first one done is best. Or the one who gets all the answers correct. But I think of Jesus' life and it doesn't seem that is the way God grades.

I mean Jesus got the “grade” we all desire, a high high and well done at the finish line. But on paper, many in the world would say at the end of Jesus'life- he failed.

He was crucified by the ones He came to save. He was often homeless, alone, a man of many sorrows. Rejected by his family, kicked out of many churches. He was a refugee. He was often the source of jokes or intense questioning. He was pierced, bruised, beaten, abandoned.

And God told Him at the end- you get an A+, come take your place by me. And at your name, every knee will bow. WOW.

So, sometimes we may get fired for our faith. We may lose friends. We may get mocked.

We may cause disruptions. We may even get kicked out of churches by the “religious.” Whatever it is. Whatever God says to do, we can do. His grade is the one that matters and our relationship with Him is the one that will always last.

A quote was given in our church this weekend also has stuck with me: “a diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.”

I'd like people to say of my life- “she is merely a lump of clay that did well under pressure.” And it's not important that my name is remembered. It's the name that's above every name.

May I do more than I ever thought possible in whatever “test” comes. May I find find joy when they hit, and they will, knowing that I will be better because they came.

Onward in Trust...

PRAISES

-my friend Katie arrived safely back in the USA with their new adopted daughter, Ruby.

-my sister is doing well back in the Czech Republic, thankful for her safe return there

-continued good health

PRAYER REQUESTS

-we've been without water on our campus for about two weeks now. Just pray that can get fixed soon.

-pray that God can give me good favor and connections here on campus with students and staff to be-do whatever God desires and to learn

-pray that I can start writing a book, the ideas are there, just need to make the time.

Thanks for your prayers SO much!

Please keep in touch and know in your "testing"- God is there with a plan.  He can make you a diamond.

Onward with You Always,

Holly