Testing...

Last week, testing was largely on my school/teaching plate. I created my first test- reviewed for it with students, then gave the test. Then over the weekend- I spent tons of time grading these tests.

I think the whole experience was just as stressful for me as it was for the students. For not only was I testing them and what they had learned, but it was also testing my ability to teach. And more than anything, I wanted them to not only “pass” the exam, but to EXCEED what they thought they could do.

On the testing days, I could tell they were anxious. As they looked through the exam, I could almost see the beads of perspiration break out on their foreheads. Which caused mine to do the same. :-)

As I graded tests this weekend, scores were high. I was pleased. Those who scored low, I could tell had given it their best. And that helped me see in greater detail, who needed attention and what the greatest areas of struggle were.

As I passed out test results this week, we have also been brainstorming about tests and why they're important and how we can be better prepared. Here are some notes from one class:

Why Are Tests Stressful?

-not prepared

-didn't study

-lack self confidence

-the thoughts of what happens if you fail (family disappointment, future results)

-if you don't understand what is expected or the language the test is given in

How Can You do Well On A Test?

-study

-be prepared

-have confidence

-use the test time effectively

-read all of the directions

Why Are Tests Good?
-helps you see where you're at

-shows your areas of strengths and weaknesses

-can help you set goals

Interesting and very much able to apply these things to life overall.

And all of this came full circle for me in church over the weekend, when the pastor started a new sermon series on the book of James. He began by talking about “TRIALS and TESTS.” Hmmmm. :-)

Here is what the book of James says:

“Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance.”

Wow. So testing is good then. The pastor said: trials or tests are allowed by God to test the genuineness of our faith. And we can find joy in them when they come because God can use the pressure to strengthen us.

Easier said than done right. Tests can cause stress. It's pressure to perform. And when you're under pressure- what you really feel, what you really know, who you really are, even the depth of these things are exposed. And that isn't always pleasant.

But often, that's exactly what is needed so areas of weakness or illness can be addressed and you can actually GROW, MATURE, and BECOME STRONGER.

I'm reading a great book called “Not a Fan” by Kyle Idleman. I had the privilege of also sitting through this sermon series when I was in Louisville, KY at Southeast Christian Church. Kyle said in one chapter that often we mask who we really are. We act like a follower of Jesus, when actually we're just a fan. When the pressure's on, it can be proven that our faith and our commitment to follow isn't really there. Ouch.

Another great book I read recently called “Beautiful Outlaw” by John Eldridge talks about the personality of Jesus. And how Jesus was the same in speaking and being the truth and message He was, even when under extreme pressure. That is what has turned off many people to today's “churches”- leadership and those who are "Christians"- speaking one thing and living something else. Times of testing can reveal these inconsistencies. And that can be very good.

Thinking back on my own life- God has allowed SEVERAL times when I felt like I was being tested. I felt like I was in a pressure cooker and what came out of me during those times caused me to realize in a big way my extreme need for grace. Time spent in Haiti- was one of the biggest pressure cookers for me. Because what had happened over years in the American culture and American church, is I had become more a product of my culture than my faith and relationship with God. My biblical answers were right, my words good, but under pressure what was revealed was a selfish, prideful, comfort-based American that liked things her way. WOW. I had no idea until that "test".

I'm so glad God allowed that test and allowed me to see my failing grade. But the great thing about it- was I didn't fail life overall because of that ONE test. He allowed more times of testing so I could see with Him, I could excel. I could be and do more than I ever thought possible, because of Him with me.

Haiti

I also think of youth ministry. That was a five year pressure cooker for me. I could not do that “exam”- that time of testing and obedience- without God with me. But He helped me, to be what He needed me to be. And to do it for WAY LONGER than I ever thought possible.

Youth ministry in Ohio...

I think of now, this “call” I'm in to use my life for Africa in some way. God called that for my life in 2008. It was a surprise for me. I'd been many places but never to this continent. Why Africa? Why me? Why now? How would that even happen? Well, He's provided the means. I've been in the USA advocating for Africa and now on this side, trying to be obedient. To learn how to be here, do this, with His help. Though at times it's not easy and I feel like I may fail, I'm here.  And some of the greatest friendships and moments of all time have happened and are happening on this continent and having the privilege to live them and write about them, speak about them, has been the adventure of a lifetime.

God has reminded me too this past week that the way God's tests are “graded” is not our way. We would say the first one done is best. Or the one who gets all the answers correct. But I think of Jesus' life and it doesn't seem that is the way God grades.

I mean Jesus got the “grade” we all desire, a high high and well done at the finish line. But on paper, many in the world would say at the end of Jesus'life- he failed.

He was crucified by the ones He came to save. He was often homeless, alone, a man of many sorrows. Rejected by his family, kicked out of many churches. He was a refugee. He was often the source of jokes or intense questioning. He was pierced, bruised, beaten, abandoned.

And God told Him at the end- you get an A+, come take your place by me. And at your name, every knee will bow. WOW.

So, sometimes we may get fired for our faith. We may lose friends. We may get mocked.

We may cause disruptions. We may even get kicked out of churches by the “religious.” Whatever it is. Whatever God says to do, we can do. His grade is the one that matters and our relationship with Him is the one that will always last.

A quote was given in our church this weekend also has stuck with me: “a diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.”

I'd like people to say of my life- “she is merely a lump of clay that did well under pressure.” And it's not important that my name is remembered. It's the name that's above every name.

May I do more than I ever thought possible in whatever “test” comes. May I find find joy when they hit, and they will, knowing that I will be better because they came.

Onward in Trust...

PRAISES

-my friend Katie arrived safely back in the USA with their new adopted daughter, Ruby.

-my sister is doing well back in the Czech Republic, thankful for her safe return there

-continued good health

PRAYER REQUESTS

-we've been without water on our campus for about two weeks now. Just pray that can get fixed soon.

-pray that God can give me good favor and connections here on campus with students and staff to be-do whatever God desires and to learn

-pray that I can start writing a book, the ideas are there, just need to make the time.

Thanks for your prayers SO much!

Please keep in touch and know in your "testing"- God is there with a plan.  He can make you a diamond.

Onward with You Always,

Holly

Are You There?

It's interesting to me how God can speak to you as you walk. My first few weeks back in Ethiopia after the holidays have been busy. The sun, the wind, the walking, the teaching...have made days and nights pass quickly as my body and mind have struggled to adjust back to life here.

What I've realized is it's easy to get lost in thought or busyness. And to also become kind of calloused to the environment around you if you're not careful.

So, God has been speaking to me on several things since I've returned. About myself. And about Himself, who He is. Who He's calling me to be. Who we can be together. He is a God of woo. He likes to woo us. To delight us. To make us chuckle. To make us whistle even in awe. I like that. And I love Him. He's full of surprises. Also of challenges. And of good discipline when its needed and rich mercy. May He continue to go with Me.  And may I keep listening and looking for Him.

The other day, I was walking to church and I'm not sure where my mind was. But I literally almost fell over what I thought was an empty sack on the street. When I almost fell, I was stunned to realize that the “sack” was actually a person sleeping. Holly- are you there? WAKE UP. Wow. How present am I really to the people around me? Do I really see? Do I really make myself available, keep myself in each moment enough, to allow God to use me to pray, or encourage, or respond in some way?

this was a person sleeping...

I then went to church where a simple gospel message was preached. This “good news” I had heard about every week almost since I was five years old. But I felt tears flood my eyes in gratitude and my heart stirred by this gospel, that a Savior had paid for my life with His. That freedom from sin and the ability to approach God without fear was made. I was moved. But I remember a time when I had grown calloused or not moved by that message. Perhaps I had heard it so much, I forgot its significance.

This only became obvious to me when I was in Haiti showing the “Jesus film” in different places. I remember sitting in crowds of people and watching them respond to the life and sacrifice and victory Jesus won, and just feeling NADA, nothing. I knew then something was up. Religion had calloused me to relationship. It can happen. As I sat in church last week, this also challenged me. Don't become calloused to me, Holly. Or to people.

Sometimes here I find myself thinking: TOUGHEN UP. Don't let that make you cry. Don't let that make you mad. You won't survive here long if you're “soft.”

But then I think of Jesus. He was “moved” and effected by His environment and the people around Him. He was calloused by the miles walked. But His heart wasn't calloused. He was fully present and affected.  Yet, His gaze was fixed. He spoke truth and was unflinching to what He was called to do and be.  He was marked by a life of service and sacrifice. All of this challenged me. And continues to challenge me.

May God keep my life in balance here. May I be tough- wise, discerning. But not calloused to people's pain or my own gaps. May I be fully present to respond to others, always humbled by the work of God in my life. May I not fall over opportunities God puts right before to serve and love.

Onward...keeping these verses in mind:

Isaiah 53:3

...He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces, he was despised, and we esteemed him not. 

(but by his stripes...we are healed...)

Hebrews 3:12-14
Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end.

Hebrews 12: 1-3 

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. 

 

Matthew 9: 35-39

And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”

God give me courage, us courage....AMEN.

A Big Praise

Today a big praise for my Dad- Jim Garrett. Celebrating his birthday. I'm so blessed to have a Dad who serves and has always been fully present in my life- with love. Happy Birthday Dad
(January 23)!  We love you!

My dad, Jim, with my sister, Noel :-)

Prayer Requests

Continued prayers for my family as we serve God in the USA, Czech, and Africa. For provision, unity, protection.

For the “field” God has me in now, that I can be fully present and available to represent Him well.

For the students and staff of Hope University College.

For my friend Katie's final processing of adoption this week, that Ruby and family will get safely home.

Katie and her new daughter, Ruby

For grace and time to start writing a book.

For continued good health.

Blessings to each of you in this new year. Please keep me in prayer and know I'm praying for you.

Onward with You,

Holly

Another Year, Another Plunge

Well, a new year is underway, 2012. I'm grateful for a new season. I had a wonderful time in the USA with my family. What a “tribe” God has blessed me with.

My parents :-)

Noel enjoying the USA

Me amazed at the snow :-)

Well, as my plane took off from Dayton on Sunday afternoon heading back to Africa, I brushed a few tears from my eyes at saying goodbye to my family. This was another big leap. I felt like I was jumping off the edge of a great big cliff, again. What would this next chapter of my life be like? When I came back this way, how would I be different?

This jump back into Ethiopia was God's call. So I felt peace from that as our plane took to the skies. An excitement was deep in my spirit too that this year, this season, would be my greatest yet. Maybe my greatest time of learning or greatest time of stretching, or serving. Not sure. But something was up and something was going to happen. God would back me, fill my gaps, like He has before when He's asked me to do big jumps, leaps of faith. I sat in wonder of it all. But as my plane continued to soar, a few times hitting turbulence, I did feel some feelings of doubt arise, fear the unknown, some anxiety...all which I think are natural with changing seasons. It's funny the memories that flooded through my mind of crazy jumps in the past and the similar emotions I felt with those. I thought for a long time of my first year in youth ministry and the first mission trip I did transitioning into this new role. It was a trip to the Caribbean in 2003. I remember thinking- youth leader- you've got to be kidding. You want me to do that God? Right. Then, our mission trip was initially supposed to be to Haiti, which is like a second home to me so I was confident then- thinking- this will be a piece of cake. But, at the last minute because of security issues in Haiti, our trip was changed to go to the Dominican Republic. Which is very different than Haiti, though being right next door. I felt like I was jumping into a big unknown with students following me. Lovely. This was going to be interesting...I remembered thinking. What a crazy jump it all was. Then our team actually ended up jumping off a literal cliff on that trip. Yep. One girl came out with bruises from hitting the water too hard, another came out limping from landing on sea urchins.

Now, I'm not a fan of high jumps into large bodies of deep water, also not a fan of bruises or stings or bites from fish or any kind of animal. So, I thought my life would end on that jump. I remembered thinking- this is it. Do or die though Holly, youth people should be able to do this. I secretly thought- I will do this but I will die, not live. The two student lifeguards who were part of my team advised me to go in straight as possible to avoid smacking the water. And they said, we will pull you up right after you go under. My stomach knotted, I prayed a prayer, eyed the horizon, then I took the plunge. And I lived. Barely. :-)

I thought of all these memories and others during the long flights back to Addis. 

God sure does love it when we leap in faith at His call, when we take a plunge for Him. Trusting Him to catch us. That we're willing to risk- injury, even death, to follow in His footsteps, His example. That we go to the hard places when He says to. (which can be extremely poor places or extremely rich places and every where in between). God is needed in all. Are you willing to “plunge” in, wherever it is, if He asks you to?

I pictured the straight “position” we are to take on these leaps is the position of the cross....a life lived crucified/surrendered. And that if I hold that position, cling to Jesus, united with Him, He can be trusted in the jump, in the landing, in the ripples your life will make and the legacy you leave.

As I took rest on Tuesday in the warm sun of Ethiopia and began teaching on Wednesday, my prayer has been to stay with Him, holding to Him...very tightly to my Savior, Deliverer, the lover of my soul, my faithful friend and great High Priest who has never and will never let me go. The One who laid down His life for me so I could live and so I could do the same for others.

May I trust Him with this new plunge, this new field of service. 

And may the year 2012 be my greatest for the kingdom. 

John 12:24-26

Truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him. 

Onward...no turning back. What an honor to serve “in the fields.”

I have many praises and prayer requests to share.

I give praise for...

-a wonderful holiday time with my parents and sister in the USA

-my business visa and needed documents were processed successfully, in a very short amount of time

-a safe return to Ethiopia

I ask prayer for...

-good health and a good transition back into Ethiopia

-to find a connection with a good church and small group to be part of here

-the students and staff that I work -serve for and with, that God will use me to serve here

-Noel's final week in the USA, then transition next week back to the Czech- for good health, safety

-that I will have a deeper time of study in the Word

-I'd like to start writing a book this year, that God would give me grace for that if the time is now

Thank you for following my blog, and for praying for me and my family!

May we do our best and give Him our all, in the field (or water) He calls us to.

If He's called you to take a plunge, DO IT! He will back you and see you through. 

And will give you a great story to tell. 

Blessings from Ethiopia,

Holly